check out my appearance on the divorce survival guide podcast!
Recently, I mentioned that I had the opportunity to lead a discussion as a guest expert on a women’s divorce Facebook group led by the incredible Kate Anthony. Following on that opportunity, I had the honor of appearing on Kate’s podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide, which is among the most popular podcasts on relationships in the country. We talked about why women’s health concerns are still being dismissed, especially during the chaos of divorce and midlife changes like perimenopause. We also discussed the ways the medical system fails women, how we’ve been conditioned to ignore our own bodies, and what it means to reclaim our power in the middle of it all.
I’m excited to announce that the podcast episode is live! You can check it out now at https://kateanthony.com/podcast/ or your favorite podcast app!
From Kate’s promotional email for the episode:
The healthcare system was not built for women. For many of us, especially in midlife, our health concerns are dismissed, misunderstood, or flat-out ignored. And when you’re navigating the storm of divorce at the same time as perimenopause or menopause? It can feel like you’re unraveling.
I’m joined by Phoenix Rising member Kathy Gould, a holistic health coach, personal trainer, life coach, lactation consultant, and current grad student finishing her second Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy. (I’m telling you, the women in Phoenix Rising are BADASS!)
This episode started as a guest expert session inside Phoenix Rising (my divorce empowerment collective for women). The conversation was so powerful, I knew I had to bring it to the podcast.
Kathy and I get into why the medical system has failed women, how we’ve been gaslit about our own bodies, and what it looks like to take our power back especially during times of massive upheaval like divorce. We are not meant to go through this quietly, and we are certainly not meant to go through it alone.
What you’ll hear about in this episode:
Why women’s health is dismissed, especially in midlife
The deep need for more open, supportive conversations around our wellness
The long-standing misconceptions about hormone replacement therapy (HRT)
How to advocate for yourself when doctors aren’t listening (especially if they’re covered by insurance)
What Kathy recommends for women going through both divorce and menopause at the same time
What Kathy recommends for women going through both divorce and menopause at the same time
Hope you enjoy the episode as much as I enjoyed doing it! If you know someone who could benefit from the information in this podcast, please share it. And, as always, please don’t hesitate to reach out if you’d like to book a FREE initial consultation with me regarding your goals for holistic health and wellness!
New Solace in old places
Recently, I visited a very special winery not far from Los Angeles that has a little farm of animals as well as great offerings of farm-to-table foods. Much of the produce and dairy that they serve at the restaurant is from the farm itself and you could definitely taste the incredible flavor that comes with that type of food sourcing. Tasting nature’s bounty at its freshest truly is a different experience. Not only was the food different, but the winery itself was a change from the typical wine tasting setting: while still gorgeous, it was much more casual and farm-like, than most estates or tasting rooms I’ve ever been to. That suited this child of small-town New England just fine! But, despite the fresh and delicious food (and the great wine!), what really drew me to this particular place was the animals.
I have always been drawn to nature and animals. As a young child I would often escape the chaos of my home and spend hours and hours outside in searching for my animal friends in nearby woods or on the trails around our home. I never had to be taught the beauty of nature; I can swear it was innate, something that has always been in me. But when life was hectic or chaotic, as mine sometimes was when I was a child, I am certain that my little nervous system recognized that being in nature and being surrounded by wildlife was a refuge. I knew instinctively that, when in nature, I had a greater ability to process things that I didn't always have words to name or skills to deal with. The sound, the sights, the smells, drew me to a place calm and, even then, when necessary, self healing. In summer time it was birds and bees and at night crickets and frogs and the subtle light of fireflies. In wintertime the sound was the absence of sound, that special silence that you know if you’ve been outside in the woods surrounded by freshly fallen snow. It is quite literally the “sound of silence,” as Paul Simon sings about in that beautiful song of his, and to me it’s a symphony.
When you are a small child running around a big backyard of woods and nature, the animals become your friends. I have vivid memories of wild rabbits, chipmunks, deer, snakes (ugh!), random cats, dogs, deer, foxes, and more than once a bear or a moose. This setting outside and with these animals who I could see and feel close to but never touch, became my refuge. A place of solace in what was an otherwise rather crazy little world.
So when I found out that this winery had animals and a pleasant outdoor space, I was instantly drawn to it and knew I had to go. I am obviously no longer a small child and no longer have access to the woods right outside my door (LA living!), but life can still be chaotic, and sometimes even pretty tough. I suppose for that reason I am still drawn to the very things that comforted me so long ago – the peace of nature and the calming impact and unconditional acceptance and love that animals provide.
To be clear these were goats and sheep and pigs. Hardly bears or moose! And they were VERY domesticated and used to being fed the bunches of lettuce provided to visitors for the animals’ munching pleasure. But there is still that connection with animals that was an instant reset for a nervous system that has been feeling all the feels lately. I highly recommend it!
So, while this post isn’t about wineries or farm-to-table food or even animals and nature, it is about finding what you need to care for your mental wellbeing, especially during the inevitable challenging times. I posted last week about therapy and coaching as extremely helpful tools to deal with life’s challenges and to navigate through the tough stuff (and the easy stuff too!)…a place to be heard, guided, and supported.
However, given that I do try to look at things holistically and through a broad angle lens, I’d be remiss if I didn’t share my trip to the farm winery with you. Sometimes the reset we need or the relief we seek from all the hard and heavy things can come our way can be as simple as petting a goat. Kids know this, and I’m glad I was reminded of it.
I hope you find this helpful and that I have shared a concept – reconnecting to your comforting roots – that you can implement in your own life. As always, I’m here for you.
On Healing, Growth, and Getting Help (Part 1 of Many!)
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what it means to heal and grow from hard things and how that process influences the ways in which we navigate the day to day, and in a deeper way, how that impacts our lives moving forward. In the health and wellness space, we speak a lot about healing, boundaries, and self care. As someone who has been on a long learning journey around all of these things, I have a lot to say about it!
I often speak to my clients and friends about the concept of total body and mind health and wellness. I’ve seen that people can have the healthiest diet on the planet and run marathons and lift weights, but if the mind is not being cared for, the reality is we can be working against ourselves. I believe that, not only are our minds and bodies one, but in many ways, the mind is really at the core of our health and wellness.
Life can be hard. In fact it often is hard. But we generally go through the days, dealing with the stresses that come our way, and walking through the little fires that are lit, and we carry on. When things are hard, many of us just motor through, not paying a whole lot of attention to the care we give our minds or our bodies. We may work out and do our best to eat right every day, and for the most part, we usually are ok…until we aren’t. That’s when the body knows that the mind is suffering and the body begins to speak to us. The messages it sends can be subtle, or they can be more obvious. They can range from aches and pains, to illness, to auto immune issues or other chronic illnesses. Conversely, when our body isn’t well, when we don’t feel or can’t move our best, it has adverse effects on mood and can lead to mental health challenges, even depression. This is why we need to care for our bodies and our minds.
As an integrative holistic health coach, I approach health and wellness from this perspective. In my practice, I recommend that clients seek emotional and mental-health support alongside the physical training they are doing with me. We all have mental-health struggles from time to time, which is why I am a huge advocate for therapy in whatever form best fits your challenges. The key is to find a therapist who supports you and helps you to become the whole person you are meant to be. Therapy isn’t always easy, but it is always helpful if you have a qualified clinician. Growth is never a bad thing, but it can be a hard thing at times.
It’s part of our reality today that many of us are stuck. Stuck in a job we don't like, stuck in a relationship or marriage that no longer serves us, stuck in a home that feels like a burden, or just stuck in a life that isn’t fulfilling us. This is not how we were designed to live our lives. We were meant to live fully and completely. I believe that with the right support we can do that. Therapy and coaching can help us get un-stuck, and can therefore be truly transformative. I’ve seen and continue to see it in my own life, and I’d love to share what I’ve seen and learned with you if you’re in a place in your wellness journey where you could benefit from it.
Please reach out if you would like life or health coaching or referrals to mental health professionals who can support you. And please, most of all, remember that you are never alone.